The Fever
's The Fever poster in his bedroom.]] }} The Fever is a Mayview-based radio show on 98.6 FM hosted by DJ Mothman and Professor Bigfoot. It makes its first appearance in Chapter 6, where it is played through Stephen's radio and continues to play over the chapter's events. Background The radio station normally broadcasts traffic and weather updates, but during times when the producer is out of the studio, DJ Mothman and Professor Bigfoot host a show on paranormal and cryptic events. The show has a segment known as "Hater-Ade" where DJ Mothman and Professor Bigfoot respond to less-than-ideal listener comments. Transcript Chapter 6 Page 3 DJ Mothman: -elcome back to 98.6 FM The FEVER, your SOURCE for the SICKEST traffic and weather updates in the biz. DJ Mothman: Haha SIKE! That's what the MAN wants us to say, but we don't SERVE HIM just because he signs the checks. No, we serve YOU, loyal listener, 'cause FOOD FOR THOUGHT is on the menu and we rely on your tips. DJ Mothman: That's right Mayview our producer's at physical therapy and you know what that means: it's time for the FEVER to BREAK the news no one else will... the PARANORMAL, EXTRATERRESTRIAL, and just plain UNEXPLAINABLE kind! DJ Mothman: I'll be your server with the REAL updates, the DL patching holes in the TRUTH, your mixed metaphor mixmaster maitre'd, DJ MOTHMAAAAAAAAN!! DJ Mothman: And with me as always, the bread to my butter, the big spoon to my soup, the bespectacled beskeptical PHD anomaly himself, PROFESSORRRRR BIGFOOT!! Professor Bigfoot: Hello. Page 4 DJ Mothman: We've got a big show for you today folks and we'll need all the fuel we can get to BLAST through it, so let's start things off with a nice swig of my favorite energy drink… DJ Mothman: HATER-ADE!! DJ Mothman: HENRY from the comments writes in: Henry Y.: First time last time. Tuned in for traffic + weather and got two dudes rambling about conspiracy theories like a terrible podcast. Cryptids, aliens, psychic powers, GHOSTS… Seriously, what makes you dorks believe in this junk? APEX CELEBRITY THE GOD DJ MO…: WELL, HENRY– DJ Mothman: Hang on, I'm gonna need the SOUNDBOARD for this one… Professor Bigfoot: Actually, if I may. Professor Bigfoot: That's an excellent question, Henry. What does make us believe in "all this junk?" Page 5 Professor Bigfoot: Now, to me, it's understandable why conspiracy theorists get a bad rap, DJ Mothman: Plus a dozen good ones hahaa check out my new album Professor Bigfoot: but I'' believe what makes ''us believe stems from some of the simplest instincts that make us human. DJ Mothman: Well Professor this sounds like a super slow burn you're cooking up, just a really roundabout roast, but partner if you're down to dunk I'm up to alley-oop. DJ Mothman: *AHEM* DJ Mothman: What SORT of instincts, Professor? Professor Bigfoot: Well the first, I'd say, is skepticism… the basic building block of rationality itself. Professor Bigfoot: The human mind is rebellious, you see. Professor Bigfoot: It questions. Professor Bigfoot: It denies authority. Professor Bigfoot: Despite every would-be jailer's efforts, Professor Bigfoot: it is just not good at doing what it's told. Page 6 Professor Bigfoot: In minds like ours, Professor Bigfoot: that healthy skepticism is simply heightened to its peak, the same way an Olympic athlete perfects their physical health. Professor Bigfoot: Through practice. DJ Mothman: Yeah, HENRY. We've got BRAIN ABS you IMP Professor Bigfoot: For instance, most people just accept the moon is real, Professor Bigfoot: but if you told me so, I'd say "how come?" Professor Bigfoot: And if you said there's no such thing as Loch Ness Monsters, Professor Bigfoot: I'd say "not with that attitude there isn't." Professor Bigfoot: This is what it means to practice healthy skepticism. DJ Mothman: … DJ Mothman: …Is… is it? Professor Bigfoot: Ho ho, exactly, my dear friend, exactly. But yes, yes it is. Page 7 Professor Bigfoot: And it's a vital mental muscle to build up! Professor Bigfoot: After all, Professor Bigfoot: you never know when having the strength to not believe in things Professor Bigfoot: might lead you to a cause you DO believe in. Professor Bigfoot: Which leads me to the next instinct... Professor Bigfoot: RIGHTEOUSNESS. Page 8 Professor Bigfoot: Allow me to explain. Page 9 Professor Bigfoot: Righteousness is the flame that sparks from the friction of injustice... Professor Bigfoot: against our sense of right Professor Bigfoot: and of wrong. Page 10 Professor Bigfoot: While the average person's sense of right and wrong is limited to what their other senses can perceive, we conspiracy theorists can extend ours further, and sense the world's ambient wrongness without the need for evidence. DJ Mothman: Wow! Like, uh, Spider-Man. Professor Bigfoot: No, friend. Professor Bigfoot: Even better than Spider-Man. Professor Bigfoot: But with greater power than Spider-Man comes greater responsibility than Spider-Man: Professor Bigfoot: the responsibility not just to rage against injustice... but to keep our rage in check. Professor Bigfoot: You see, with all that extra surface area inside our field of perception, Professor Bigfoot: the flames of righteousness we bear, unleashed, becomes a WILDFIRE. Page 14 Professor Bigfoot: Now, some might say that our extraordinary abilities make us larger than life... Professor Bigfoot: that our unmatched fury makes us monstrous, Professor Bigfoot: but I would argue that being superhuman makes us just that: super human. DJ Mothman: Oh yeah? Professor Bigfoot: We're just as likeably flawed as we are superior to normies Professor Bigfoot: and sensing wrong, raging against it, Professor Bigfoot: does not always mean our strength's enough to set it right. Page 15 Professor Bigfoot: Still, I like to think Professor Bigfoot: that even the little guy can tower over evil if he has the moral high ground, Professor Bigfoot: uses the weight of their sins against them, Page 16 Professor Bigfoot: and gets some help Professor Bigfoot: from his fellow underdogs. Page 17 Professor Bigfoot: At least... Professor Bigfoot: that's what I like to think. Page 18 Professor Bigfoot: Liking to think. Professor Bigfoot: What's more human than that? Professor Bigfoot: A conspiracy theoriest knows that every answer's found by someone looking for it. We entertain the possibilities that entertain us! Professor Bigfoot: Skeptism guides us, rightousness fuels us, but if you ask what makes us believe, well... to quote my favorite documentary series, The X-Files, we WANT to believe. DJ Mothman I want to believe my ex files for divorce soon ha ha ha... Page 19 Professor Bigfoot: We fill the unknown with our pet theories and seek the truth to greet like an old friend. Professor Bigfoot: Ask yourself... "What do I'' want?" You might find, like us, that you believe your wish could – ''WILL – come true... with no evidence beside what's in your heart. DJ Mothman: In... in my heart? What I... want? Professor Bigfoot: That's right, friend. What do you want? Page 20 DJ Mothman: I want DJ Mothman: to DJ Mothman: make DJ Mothman: Henry DJ Mothman: feel bad? Professor Bigfoot: Is that really what you want? Page 25 Professor Bigfoot: Now, Professor Bigfoot: we conspiracy theorists might like to think we're guided by facts and reason, Professor Bigfoot: but truthfully we're following our hearts. Professor Bigfoot: Because of this, we might not always reach our destination, Page 26 Professor Bigfoot: but we're guaranteed to enjoy every step along the way. Page 27 DJ Mothman: Hey, Professor BF… I know we… agreed not to talk about what happened at Chupacon '99, but… DJ Mothman: if your feelings haven't changed… do you think you'd want to— Page 28 Professor Bigfoot: ALAS Professor Bigfoot: The heart, I fear, is a double-edged sword. Page 29 Professor Bigfoot: Wishful thinking-- Thinking with our hearts-- it might give us direction, but... that doesn't always mean it's made us face the truth. Page 31 Professor Bigfoot: Sometimes, Professor Bigfoot: the world we build up in our hearts Professor Bigfoot: is not the one we live in. Professor Bigfoot: Why do we believe, you ask? Because...to err is human and that's all I've claimed we are all along. Professor Bigfoot: Still, Page 32 Professor Bigfoot: ...a steadfast, unyielding clock is right twice a day. Professor Bigfoot: Are we willing to bet on those slim odds? Professor Bigfoot: Are we ready to face the reality of our fantasies, should they become real? Page 37 Professor Bigfoot: So... that's that. Professor Bigfoot: Skeptism, righteousness, a willingness to bet on what we love... Professor Bigfoot: I can't say they're always virtues, but Professor Bigfoot: our hearts are in the right place, at least. Professor Bigfoot: Our instincts, too, perhaps, if not our theories. Professor Bigfoot: ... Professor Bigfoot: Sometimes, listener, I suspect... that the greatest trick this world's worst devils pulled was hiding in plain sight Professor Bigfoot: and convincing us we had to search for evil. Page 38 Professor Bigfoot: It's no hidden secret that the system's filled with willing pawns of power... Professor Bigfoot: Those at the top grab for more control in daylight, not in darkness. Page 39 Professor Bigfoot: We rightfully fear secretive manipulation, chemicals and waves, Professor Bigfoot: but the most persuasive pressure's from our peers. Professor Bigfoot: The status quo need only preach "it's with us or against us," Professor Bigfoot: and one convert can make agents of us all. Page 40 Professor Bigfoot: Then there's doomsday conspiracies...the many means by which our world could end. Professor Bigfoot: We're sure they're waiting in the wings: evil schemes, unnatural disasters Professor Bigfoot hidden behind friendly faces, Professor Bigfoot: our leaders' secrecy, Professor Bigfoot: or the sheer scale of the unknown world itself. Professor Bigfoot: But... Page 41 Professor Bigfoot: I cannot help but wonder Professor Bigfoot: if we focus on apocalypses covert and fantastical... Page 44 Professor Bigfoot: I cannot help but fear, dear listener... Professor Bigfoot: that we entertain a grand finale to existence just to entertain ourselves Professor Bigfoot: and distract us from the mundane end in sight. Page 45 Professor Bigfoot: So... where does that leave us? Professor Bigfoot: My dear fellow conspiracy theorists... what ARE we? DJ Mothman: What are we... Professor Bigfoot: Are we shepherds heeded only in hindsight, Professor Bigfoot: crying wolf into our foolish flock's deaf ears? Professor Bigfoot: Or are we of the sheeple herd ourselves, unwittingly echoing domesticated dogma in bleating harmony with power? Professor Bigfoot: If our dogged whistleblowing sirens of alarm serve as the dog whistle siren song that leads the system's lambs to slaughter, Professor Bigfoot: then perhaps we're more sheepdogs in lone wolf's clothing. Professor Bigfoot: Maybe where THAT leaves us is what answers who we are... Professor Bigfoot: Learning your leash's length, would you obey? Professor Bigfoot: Or bite the hand that holds it? Page 46 Professor Bigfoot: Maybe these endless questions are the truth of who we are, Professor Bigfoot: and our theories aren't meant to become fact. Professor Bigfoot: Maybe we don't want answers. Professor Bigfoot: Perhaps our path is paved by stones best left unturned. References Category:Lore